Joys of Motoring

So on my way to work this morning and end up ever so slightly bumping this rather tasteless silver non entity of a 'Ford'. No damage done. So she crawls out of the car rather indignantly, which I can understand, (even though I am of the school of thought that cars have bumpers for a reason). She gives me this I just F****d the pooch look!, the sort of face that looks as if shes been chewing a Wasp, blah blah , want your details she demands, duly oblige, while informing her that the actual displacement of dirt on her bumper does not in fact, constitute damage.
The sort of woman whom probably last had sex around the Millennium, you know the type, "you will be hearing from my husband!" she threatens menacingly, to which I reply, "madam, do offer him my deepest sympathies!!".