Realisation

I am tired again, another exhausting week, again, but this time very different. For a realisation has dawned on me for the first time in many years. I miss the security of Marriage. I miss having a mutual plan for the future, I miss coming home to the person I love, knowing I can spend my life with them, and they can put up with my faults. I miss having a point of focus in my life, something tangible to believe in and aim for. These last few days I have made some fundamental decisions about me, and my destiny; of which I have no control right now.
There has to surely be a reason for all of this nonsense of working for the 'Man'. Without that reason; its all rather pointless really. Emma is leaving for University in a few months, and clearly has her life journey planned, only Max left now, so where do I go next?. Deep thoughts indeed, a time for decisions, and destiny to play her hand.