Reminder.. and the meaning of Life.

Am defrosting the freezer so must check it before bed. The other day was talking about de-stressing, when on reflection, I realised, I have never really, fully, ever relaxed!, or if I have its been a very long time, since my teenage years. I am talking about the ability to achieve a sort of meditative state, body and mind totally synchronised, really relaxed.
Not into Yoga as its a bit silly, and frankly pretentious. Buddhism perhaps, but my hectic lifestyle does not permit. Alcohol is a substitute, and the occasional cigarette, even the odd 'spliff'. But these are temporary crutches. Sex, especially post coital works the most. ( I pause to smash the hell of the Plum tomatoes into the Lasagne, in fact will add another tin, and why can't you add Courgettes to a Lasagne?) .
So do we ever really achieve Nirvana?, I really don't know. ( perhaps Courgette's are to succulent and would disintegrate?) so for now, will have to settle for a large mug of Earl Grey before I retire to bed, contemplating this enigma (of relaxing, not the Courgettes).