The Great annual Adventure

I decide I must bite the 'Bit' and do the shopping before we all get snowed in to hell and back. I gritted me teeth and braced myself against the bitings winds searing across the enormous ASDA car park, grabbed a trolley with my frozen fingers and inserted the token. On entering the reasonably warm haven that is ASDA Coventry, I am imeadiatly greeted by wooly pull overs, Pink slippers and adolecent Wonder Woman PJs ( which lets face it we all crave for!); no time for these distractions, I have to buy Food!, this being the expensive material that every body eats in my family and I hardly touch!.
So, lots of tins of spagetti, pot noodles, noodles, ocean pies, all being lazy veggie Max foods. Then some bread, not to much as it will not last for xmas!, lots of bread we will buy more at the last minute; bacon of course, then more cheese, Stilton and some Ardennes Pate (ASDAs own).
So finally the motherload, one large British Turkey, 'is it big?' Katie texts me, 'Oh yes', I reply, 'something will require a jolly good stuffing in the Kitchen this year?', 'you wish!' she replies, filth and smut, thats all I seem to get these days.