What If?...

What if somebody invented a Fart filter?. A device which you could pop in your bottom, and every time you broke wind, the device would change you trump to the lovely smell of let say... Strawberry's, or Spearmint?. So your stuck in a lift or at a restaurant table, and somebody exclaims, "ooh there's a lovely smell of mint in here", and inhales deeply, sharing in the goodness.
Or a contraceptive coil that really does pick up 'Radio Moscow'?... or accesses your mobile via blue tooth?... I mean if your going to all that trouble to shove a gadget up your nether regions?, makes sense to me.
On a certain trail in the United States cyclists have been told not to stop and pee, as it attracts Mountain goats whom relish the salt, it's suggested you urinate at least 200 yard off trail, where the bears will no doubt eat you alive!?, if the goats want it that bad we should all harvest our urine and sell it to the big corporates?. Oh I have been told they already do that!, its called 'Red Bull'.
And have you ever thought about 'Scooby Doo' as a vehicle for promoting drug abuse?, think about it, questionable hippy types, whom talk to a Dog?, who's best friend 'Shaggy' always has the munchies?, especially for some dodgy scoobie snacks?, all of them driving around in the woods in a psychedelic van chasing etherial spirits?, why didn't we realise what was going on at the time!.