So... Here I am again.

Last week after a few months of detachment, Katie came to me and said, quite simply, "I don't love you any more and I am leaving." If anybody in the known universe can tell me why, I would love to know, as  five years of playing family is immediately vaporised before my eyes. And that's it!, I have no say in the matter, a stepfather not am I, the boys have no say in the matter, and this weekend, she and her family will simply leave me and my families life. Wow!, didn't expect that, the ruthless efficiency of the female, the total absence of any communication or support from her side of the family, really quite cold. I never realised by that conclusion I was that disliked?!, just I guess ultimately never accepted. So what is Katie running from, I guess I may never know. All I can say with total honesty is I offered my all, tried my best to be as supportive as possible, and be there for them. Somewhere in there I also loved her dearly, she really was my 'soul mate', my 'Centre of the Universe', and now she has simply cancelled it all out. Why do some people run?, why are they scared to talk?, share, and trust. What are their secrets, what are our neurosis?. Why are they scared to commit?. I don't think I will ever know, a lot of inward personal reflection ahead of me here.